I had the idea to create a web site for myself about 3 years back (2015). I started to feel that the social media (mainly facebook) is not a platform to share what I do, see, read etc. My intent was not to show “hey, I am here.”, “Hey, I’m doing this.” but to show there are different things to do and share.. People can take whatever they want to
The biggest showstopper to start my website was the name of it. I thought about it a lot but could not find something. Cause I was searching for a different name, not like “diary of Hasibe”, “Hasibe travels”. No creative name came to my mind and I stopped it for a while. I was using facebook and it was pushing me that I need to find something and start. Then I decided to work on words: what will be the content of my web site, which topics/words are important for me in my life, what I really want to express / share.. I listed some key words like sun, smile, sharing. You can’t imagine how much I investigated these words, the association of the ideas, the meanings in different languages (English, Italian, Latin, Greek), tried to derive different words.. I cannot say that I could not find words, I did but I did not feel them by heart..
In the Italy trip that I did in September 2016, I was so close to it. We were going to Loretto city by bus and everywhere was full of sunflowers, everywhere was bright yellow. It was an “Eureka” time. It was the word that I was searching: sun, flower, yellow. (I associate myself with sun too) And of course the domain names in Turkish and English were already in used. The italian translation was a lot more meaningful to me: “girasole”, turn to sun. unfortunately that was also in use. But there was no content in the web site. With a small hope, I sent an email to the owner of the domain name but I did note receive any reply. I accepted the situation and said “next time”. But at that day I understood, that name will come to my way one day by itself, it will find me.. I just need more patience.
Then my friend recommended me to search a bit about myths, maybe I could find something with the name of gods. I liked the idea but the word that I want to use as the website name should evoke me or what I want to share. Not only a word that sounds nice. I searched but could not find anything again.
Then.. It was a saturday.. In the early morning I met my friend in the Belgrad Forest and walked for an hour (which is a common place that we go nearly every week to walk on the track in the middle of a forest) It was a great start of the day. And the weather was so nice, the sun was sparkling not like it was November. After the sport, we had the referee meeting for the “Bilim Kahramanlari Bulusuyor” – “Science Heroes Meet” organization, and then I decided to go to Kadikoy to enjoy this sun by sitting in a cafe and reading a book. I wanted to go to the parking area next to the seaside to catch the sunset but there was such a long queue that I decided to turn to Moda way and pass to the seaside. But after a bit, this way was also full. I think full does not express what I experience. We could hardly move: 20-30 meters in 2-3 minutes. I was so upset!! I was thinking to enjoy the day but I was stuck in a traffic jam. I started to study a bit French, then took off the books in my bag (generally I carry more than one) and took a look to decide which one to read. (Yes, correct, you got it right. The traffic was so bad that I was going to read book). I decided to read the book “Mavi Surgun” from Halikarnas Balikcisi (I could not find the English name of the book but Turkish name means Blue Exile and the writer calls himself as the fisherman of Halicarnassus). It was a self biography. While I was reading the back side of the book and about the author, I was able to reach to Fenerbahce (you can check Fenerbahce and Moda takes 10-15 mins on foot) and I understood the reason of this jam: there was a match in Fenerbahce’s stadium and policemen blocked the roads. There was nothing to do so I started to read my book. There was a short story which impacted me a lot. I will copy it below. Unfortunately it is in turkish and I do not want to translate it but will provide a short summary:
“İtalya’da tarlakuşlarını hiç durmamacasına öttürmek için ateşle kıpkızıl kızartılmış toplu iğne uçlarıyla cızz diye bir gözünü, cızz diye öteki gözünü yakarlar. İki gözü kör olan tarlakuşunu bir kafese koyarlar. Mavi, açık, duru göklere özgür uçmaya alışkın kuş, ilk önce gözlerini örttüğünü sandığı kapkara paçavrayı tırnaklarıyla paralamaya çabalar ve zavallı kendini bir kat daha yaralar. Karanlığın gözüne yapışanın bir paçavra, bir is ya da kurum değil, bir zindan gece olduğunu anlayınca, kanat hızıyla geceyi aşmaya, güne güneşe ulaşmaya çabalar. Çırpınır, çırpınır, her kanat vuruşu katı kafese çarpar, acır, acır! Kara gece aşılmaz bir kara duvardır. Uçucu kanatlardan kat kat güçlü, iç hızıyla ötmeye koyulur, öter, öter. Gecenin öte tarafında gönlünün gününü güneşini, nur alemini yaratır. Yine o mavi göklerine çıkar, ta altında ufuklara kadar ıssızlaşan yeryüzüne pırıl pırıl pullar gibi renk renk cıvıltısını döker, döker. Allah esirgesin duramaz; çünkü durunca karanlık, ökseci kuşçunun kara parmak ve avuçları gibi varlığını kavramaya koyulur. Öter, öter, yaradılışa bütün canını, gönül cömertliğiyle harıl harıl döktükten sonra boynu bükük, şu darı dünyaya kör gözleri açık, aramızdan şükranla ayrılır. O da en kısa tanımıyla iyi insana benzer. Aldığı kadarını, hatta aldığından çoğunu dünyaya verir.”
It was about the skylarks. In Italy they used to burn their eyes with pins to make them sing always and put them in a cage. Normally skylarks are used to fly all over the blue sky. First they think that there is a black cloth closing their eyes and they try to take if of but they hurt themselves more and more. When they understand that it is not a cloth or something temporary, they try to fly away to get rid of this darkness. But this time every wingbeat hit the cage and it hurts more. This dark night is impassable. And they start to sing: stronger than flying, with their heart. They search the sun in their heart and they fly over the blue sky by singing.. They cannot stop. If they do, they know that the dark night will catch them again. It sings more and more and leave this world behind…..
After reading this story, I searched a bit about skylark. I learned that it is a very common symbol in poets or writing to mention about independence, freedom, inspiration and hope. Also, especially between April and August, they sing chirpy early morning to inform the sunrise. And it caught me at that point. Freedom, hope.. But.. the best part was that skylark was also related to sun. The messenger of the day, the sun.. At that time, it was not important that I was stuck in traffic for the last 2 hours. And as I believed in, that word found me…
I checked the domain names and saw that the Turkish and the Tnglish versions were already in use. And with a big fear in my heart I checked the alladola.com. And yes!! It was free! 🙂 For a few days I asked my friends what they feel the first time that they hear alladola.com, if it sounds nice etc. I did not receive any odd comment. Of course the word is not Turkish but it did not sound too weird too. Meanwhile I also get used to this word more. I purchased the domain name and with the support of my friend, we arranged the hosting infrastructure too. My first text was this story, but in Turkish 🙂 I created the English version after a year, in February 2018.
It is a very meaningful post, and a period in my life. I hope it will be a good web site that I will share more and more.
March 2018 – Abu Dhabi
28 January 2017 – İstanbul (date of original post)